We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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