I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
