Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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