Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
Randomize
