Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
I could have mohawked her pubes.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
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