the new term for farting is butt boxing.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
There's even glitter on my cock...
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