my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
You can't motorboat a personality
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
Randomize
