You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Randomize
