I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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