I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
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