I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I die, sorry about rent.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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