I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize