I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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