what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Randomize
