You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
