I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
So vagazzling was a success
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
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