Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
