I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Randomize
