why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize