Apparently you make a good broom.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
Randomize
