oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
