so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
Randomize
