question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
Randomize