I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Randomize
