I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Randomize
