just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
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