Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Randomize
