I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
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