Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
Randomize
