i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
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