Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Randomize
