The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
