I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
Randomize
