I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
She made me pour olive oil on her.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
Randomize
