my soul wont recognize me after tonight
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
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