just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
