dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
I understand Curling. That high.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
Randomize