The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
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