She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
They are going to name an STD after you.
i think im in europe. pls send help
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
