Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
My life is pants optional.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
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