i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize
