he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
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