How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
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