i jhust puked up my retainher.
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
