Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
