Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
