Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
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