So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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