you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
You can't just leave with hair like that
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
