Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
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