STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Randomize
