I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Randomize
