please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
