Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
