I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
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