She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
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