I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Randomize
