what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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