please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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